NOTE: The article appeared on the TEEJ ( 2013) in Kathmandu Post
In Defense of Teej
Sparkling
bangles and bindis, women singing and dancing in odd places and times of
the day in neighborhood, images of women in red sari taking over facebook
timeline: festive season of Teej is here once more. Ask anyone about Teej, they
are sure to have very passionate opinions about it: men or women, follower or
non follower. Some are vehemently against it, some are ardently supporting
it. And in between that, some women like
me do not know anymore whether to love or hate Teej. Coming into age in mid
1990s at the height of feminist movement, I still remember the passionate
arguments of feminists against Teej. Celebrating Teej was hailed as a symbol of
patriarchy and conformation of the male domination by women. Indeed many of
modern Nepali women do not agree with many of the ideologies and rituals of
Teej. Over the time, one can see that Nepali women have embraced Teej with new
meanings. Thus, I find it necessary to
examine some of the concerns and accusations directed towards women celebrating
Teej. While I go on writing, I am aware that I will sound like a fanatic
narcissist middle class women bent on defending her own brood.
Some
sections of Nepali society are increasingly voicing their concerns about
growing "bikriti" on the
ways in which Teej is being celebrated these days. The most frequent accusations hurled at women
is about having Durr one month prior
Teej. It is interesting to observe that it is mostly men who express these
concerns. Indeed every year, weeks
before Teej, housewives do gather to
dance and eat in booming neighborhood party palaces. Even offices with women staffs outnumbered by
men organize Teej party over the lunch hours in office. High profile Teej
parties are organized in five star hotels by upper class women. However, this
year celebrations of Teej seems to have slowed down. Could it be effect of
notice issued by Commission for the Abuse of Authority (CIAA) warning women not to have parties, exceeding
50 people? It seems as if CIAA has nothing better to do than keep a watch on
group of women dancing and singing to their heart's content. If they were
really that serious about controlling the expenses in social events, they can
start with their own staff's wedding, Brataman
and Pasni parties.
I argue
that current "durr" khane practice in urban areas like Kathmandu
needs to be seen in the light of change in women's statuses and identities.
Previously, women were limited in their home with identities of daughter, wife
and daughter in-law. These days, women inhabit different public spaces with
diverse identities. Their circle of people has gone beyond the boundaries of
"maiti" and "ghar". They have school friends, college friends,
work friends, activist friends. And Teej
parties, sometimes at home, sometimes at office, sometimes at party places,
sometimes at restaurant becomes a place to meet, talk, eat, dance and get
reconnected. Tell me, is there anything wrong with that? Aren't men always
meeting with their friends to dance and eat in dohori restaurants, disco bars and resorts floundering their money?
Have we heard any organized criticism
ever about this?
I wish to
draw attention on the ways in which these durr
parties have become platform for philanthropy. Is it wrong for women with higher income to
spend large amount of money for Durr parties in five star hotel not just to
have fun by themselves but also to collect funds to support their less
fortunate sisters? Since last couple of years, few groups of women have been organizing
durr parties to collect fund to support women suffering from breast cancern and
uterine prolapsed and so on. Similarly, many women organizations organize durr programmes in old age homes, orphanages
and women's cells in prison. We should laud these efforts instead of criticism
of same old lamentations " look at women singing and dancing one month
before Teej".
There is
yet another important but less discussed aspect of Teej. With growing
international migration of Nepali people all over the world, Teej has surpassed
national boundary. Disregarding ethnic and caste differences, every year NRN
women organize different events weeks prior to Teej. For them, Teej does not
simply mean feasting, fasting and dancing. Teej becomes a medium for them to remember
home, to conform that they have not forgotten Nepal but rather it is very
closer to their hearts. With Teej, they teach Nepali culture to their children.
This form of Transnational Teej also becomes the medium for Nepali community to
establish their identities amongst different cultural groups in their host
countries.
It is equally
interesting to see that despite the patriarchal connotations , Teej has
increasingly become the platform for activism to raise awareness on women's
rights. Since last couple of years, I have been attending Teej programme
organized by disabled women in Nepal. Women with disabilities wear beautiful
saris, kurtas and dance incredibly in music. I see this programme as a
challenge to stereotypical beliefs of "beauty", "perfect body"
and "femininity". Every year, deaf women also organize Teej programme
of their own. They usually start with the quiz competition followed by apple
eating competition. I was fortunate to witness the party last year. One could
see deaf women chatting away merrily in sign language looking beautiful and
radiant in their bright red saris and Kurta Tops. Then, in the end they started
dancing. Though their world was of silence, they kept on dancing to their inner
sense of music. In a society, where women's body is scrutinized, controlled,
violated and stigmatized, dancing in Teej allows us to be free: releasing our
body from all its inhibitions and control. Dancing in Teej is about reclaiming
our bodies from the tight scrutiny of the society.
So, on
behalf of all women celebrating Teej, here is a request to all those self
appointed gatekeepers of Nepali society. Stop butting in with your narcistic
comments and advises about right way to celebrate Teej. Women deserve to enjoy the Teej the way want
because there is no single way to celebrate Teej. For each individual woman,
Teej comes with different meanings and symbol every year.
Khanal is lecturer of Sociology, Tribhuvan University
