Most of my facebook friends already know of course that I was in Sydney during my Easter Break. During Sydney visit, I apparently turned into narcisistic woman who is too keen to plaster photoes of people and places she visted. People have their own reasons for posting photo. I have my own. I am basically a visual person. I take photoes not necessarily to show off but to create momentoes of the experiences I had. I take odd pictures of people and places rather than standard postcard and studio ones of boring formal postures. I like to see things on move. Through my photoes, I want to show what really was going on rather than present some edited version of emotions and the feel of the places. I like messy, out of focus, out of scope, entangled and not so nice photoes. Because that's what real life is like. It is always not neat and fine
My major reason for visit to Sydney was undisputably to visit my dear old friend Radhika, who recently become mother of twins ( a boy and a girl). Isn't that a blessing? First few words about my dearest Radhika. I met her in PK campus where we both pursued our Bachelor Degree. I was a in awkward identity of born in village, grown up in Kathmandu. I used to see lot of seperation in terms of friendships between girl based on their origin. Girls grown up in kathmandu naturally were drawn to girls with similar background. While girls from village had their own sense of value and tended to bond with each other. I do not mean to belittle my bunch of friends from Kathmandu but I saw a lot of fighting spirit, sense of struggle from girls coming from village. They were ambitious, driven and were not put off by struggles of life. Whereas, there are some exceptions, many girls of kathmandu I found with little ambition, dreams and visions about future. These are crude generalizations, there are exceptions but I must be honest here. Me and Radhika were part of larger group who were keen to be writers and pursue Journalism. I was drawn by her outspokenness, bold behaviour and very friendly attitude. Over the years, among the very few friends from college, we both remained in touch with each other. Often in friendships, people get caught up in life and forget their friends. Radhika has stood behind me in one of my strongest trials of life. She was my counsellor. She was my confidant and she knows "who I really am" but she did not judge me because of that. Sometimes, my friends complain that I have not been in touch with them, I feel like asking " how about you being in touch with me". Friendship is two way lane. It is mutual. If I care about you and you also care about me, that's how our friendship revives, lives and enters into new phase in our life. Radhika is one of those rarest friends who never let me feel that changes in our lives need to change our friendship. With so much achievements and skills in her sleeve, I never felt she has changed. She has evolved though with her life lessons, with the phases of her life, but that is different. We both haven't changed in terms of being friends with each other.
The twins were born soon after I arrived in Australia and I was caught up on my own study commitments before I could make a visit. Finally, Easter break was a perfect time. I researched possible options to visit sydney. Air travel was obviously cheaper but needed to be booked ahead of time. I could have spent great deal of time and found out cheap ticket. But being a person, who is after a different "experience", I decided a crazier option: 10 hours journey on the train. I packed my bags ahead of time and went to Monash early morning at 9 dragging my suitcase, where I was a first presenter presenting my research proposal. After a quick dashing visit to Monash souveneir shop for last minute gifts and much needed Sleeping Pillow for the journey, I was ready to head off to Southern Cross.
I got on the train, right time after hefty dinner of vegetarian noodle, which was way too yummy. I was seated next to chinese origin lady who was travelling to Sydney to see her sister. We talked about weather of melbourne and sydney and that was it. I remember telling Ifti and Monimalika , as a justification for choosing 10 hour ride on train " I will just talk to person next to me". I remember their funny faces. But really, I was too tired to talk, all I wanted was to make best use of newly bought pillow. Journey was preety normal with interruptions of people coming and going, children crying and settling down. I had taken train on 7.50 in melbourne on evening. I reached Sydney next morning at 6.52. Not bad. Not bad at all.
After I reached, I called Radhika with my near dead mobile phone to conform which train I should be taking. She came to receive me along with Era on Penhurst Stration, nice Sydney suburb the family was living on. As I was about to enter the door, Era showed me the welcome sign she had made specially for me. Era is my friend's elder daughter who is just nine but I was so impressed by her creativity. On Friday that I arrived, Era also showed me a beautiful powerpoint that she had made about me, putting my usual facebook profile picture of "Modern Mom". I was lulled by the feel of home by Nepali daal bhat tarkari, Nepali soap operas running on television. That reminds me to tell you a bit about some of the parenting values I learnt from my friend Radhika.
Radhika has strong awareness about making her children independent at the same time making them feel that they can come to her if they cannot do things on her own. It is due to her and Bhinaju's parenting skills that elder daughter Era can do so many things to help her parents around. Her skills have become so important at this current time when twins are just 3 months and her other sister Erica is just 28 months or so. Era can cook breakfast, knows how to clean up, she can take care of twins very well under supervision of her parents of course. But of course, she is just a kid herself and there are times when she wishes to be one rather than the regular " Thulodidi". Radhika is patient with her when she does that. I have met many Nepali families living abroad. Often I have seen children forgetting their language, which is natural but I think there are few things that one can do to address it.
Radhika confidently says that, children will learn English outside in schools, television anyway. So, her primary form of communication to her children is by Nepali. Bhinaju and Radhika and other family members also talk in Nepali most of the time. That is why, Era speaks perfect Nepali and understands it very well. She is very popular in Nepali community by regularly performing Nepali dances in different events organized by Nepali community. She also carries out several carricatures. Of them, her immitation of Sushil Koirala is hilarious.
On second day of my visit to Sydney, I visited the most amazing couple. Both of these young love birds who met over facebook are in Sydney now. I too knew them via facebook during online discussion. There are some people I feel close to based on our mutual interest in books and writing, even though we have never met each other in life. Ushma and Kumar are amazing couple and their love story have always fascinated me. Radhika dropped me off to their place in Rockdale and Kumar came to receive me downstairs. Ushma and Kumar had prepared Sumptous feast of momo and there was glass of wine beside. A perfect lunch. Then, came the awkward part, "what momo is it", I asked. Ushma and Kumar. They replied in unison "chicken" with jest. I wondered, what should I do. Here are two amazing people who have worked so hard in preparing the meal, that I do not eat. Then, I said sheepishly. " I am sorry, perhaps , I should write in my bio in facebook that I am vegetarian". Then, in a matter of 20 minutes, I saw this warmhearted couple creating a vegetarian meal with so much ease. Ushma discreetly boiled potatoes on microwave, while Kumar was chopping off onions and tomotoes all the while I was doing yak yak. Curry of Masyoura was boiling hot on hot plate and lo! a sumptous vegetarian feast was ready. Ushma and Kumar may tell their own love story someday on their own words, they deserve to. I do not want to spoil the fun here by writing about it. But one thing I would say about their love story is love happens through most unlikely medium. Love chooses path of its own. One just should be ready for it to happen, whenever it wants to happen.
Next day, Kangaroo valley trip with Radhika and family, Rishi dai and family and friends was most memorable. The drive to valley was most amazing. It was great sight to watch men at barbeque rigorously working while women served other delicacies and chatted non stop. It was amazing day.
Next day, Monday, what did I do? I met with my student Bisha. I taught her since grade 1 to 5. I remember her and her sister Bibisha both were quiet children and never gave me trouble. For me, I entered with teaching profession, though barely a teenger myself with one basic understanding about children. Children's natural impulse is to make noise, create trouble, do mischief. Thus, my classrooms were never quiet and I seldom tried to quiet them down. Sometimes I had to. But I remember we had so much fun together. My idea of teaching was mainly through motivation, creative writing and verbal expression. I shared coffee with Bisha and we had amazing time catching up with memories of HVP. She told me something that every teacher wants to hear " you are a wonderful teacher". And it takes a wonderful student to say that to teacher. Only a student who recognizes the value of knowledge and hard work will say that to teacher. Many students may walk past you in street, without even bothering to say hello. Some tend to avoid. Some carry their own life baggages and do not wish to be reminded how they were like in children. Regardless of where and who my students have been, I will always love them. I hope I have never made them feel that I favourated only few and did not like others. I hope I was able to pay equal attention and love towards all of them.
Tuesday I had some crazy and whirlwind time with my colleague cum friend Mille and her twin sister Julie. Our crazy pictures will speak volumes than what I can write about our time together. We did some shopping, some eating, some posing and loads of talking in between. I was looking forward to see her since long and I was happy that I was able to make that.
On Wednesday, my lifelong friend ( they do exist you know) Hajuri's brother Raju and his wife Dipika took it upon themselves to make sure that I actually visit sydney and do a real photo session. Before I talk about that, few words about my notion of best friends. I do have best friends, but I do believe on having more best friends. Each of these friends, some male and female have come at point in my life and played an important role in my life. I see my friends not as who they are but what we mean to each other. My friends Laxmi and Hajuri are such life forces that are close to my heart. So, Raju and Dipika took me to Taronga Zoo and did my photo session with really fancy camera sent by Sajan whom we missed so much. In evening, they cooked amazing Newari Bhoj with Alu tama, bara and kankro ko achar, that Maja Agaya. Next morning, Raju cooked Gwalamari and Chiya, our favourate childhood snack. Raju is just amazing human being and god belss Raju and Dipika's married life.
Now, thursday. Thursday was a day for whirlwind visit. First I went to visit Jayanti with whom I studied together in school in Pendal Hill. We quickly caught up some memories, shared our mothering dillemas before I head off to Wyndall Station to meet Deewa with whom I had come to Australia Leadership Awards Scholarship. With chocolatey coffee and piece of chocolate in front of us, we evaluated our life goals and plans and shared news of how our other friends are doing. After bidding goodbye to her, I did some jewellery shopping and dashed off to meet sister Sujata Tamang who recently started her PhD just like me. We had some crazy photoshoot in front of china town and non stop guff along with amazing chinese noodle soup.
I came back home and announced to Era, Erica and Radhika that I have something for them. I excitedly opened my bag, while they waited in anticipation. MY GOODNESS ME!, I had done it again. I have a history of leaving souveneirs ( my personal belonging in every place I visit), it happens most of the time. Raja often jokes me about it. And that has made me over cautious not to leave things so that he do not get luxury of joking about me. Now, what to do. It was couple of bucks worth but what I bought was more valuable than money itself. But what was I supposed to do except forget about it. "May someone who took it, rot in hell", I thought.
Last day to leave Radhika's house, friday. In morning Binayak and Manju came for a visit. I realized that it was first time that I had someone that I was related in Australia.It was amazing feeling of power and connectedness. Though, I strongly beleive that family is not enough just to belong by blood unless one really builds intimacy, but some relationship of blood are stronger. Binayak's family means much to all of us and we have remained strong despite all trials.
In afternoon, it was time to leave Radhika's home and then I realized I did not want to go. It is selfish but I knew I will miss twins terribly and children first and then my friend Radhika. But the reason I love children is because they are HER children. Specially for a woman who does not have a daughter, being with Era, Erica and Kristy was most amazing time of my life. I even joked whether Radhika will give me one of her daughters. She joked. " yes, take them, take them, return them when they grow up". I knew this was just a joke. Radhika and Era said goodbye in proper Nepali way: with light, flowers and red tika. Radhika dropped me off to Hurstville, from where I took train to Sydney Central.
Plan was to meet Amina, who is in her final stage of finishing her dissertation. Though, I wish to call her everyday and talk with her about my whimsical updates and stages, I refrain from doing so as I know she is in toughest time. But the way she is doing is remarkable. She has been through a lot in her life and I respect so much for coming this far and remaining committed on doing what she is doing. She had offered her room and board for one night on my last day on the Sydney. And I was like " Best comes at Last". Amina is a very kind person. She understands the frustations of not knowing and she patiently explains what she thinks "from her experience". She has opinion about everything, literally everything. But these opinions have strong justifications. They come from somewhere, and it is even more interesting to hear about the process of formation of her opinions.
But before I met her, something amazing and something shattering happened in a difference of two minutes. I came out of train and was looking here and there to figure out the exit towards UTS, Amina's Alma Mater. Then, a middle aged white man came and said " you look lost". Yes, I said and asked for direction to UTS, which he gave in a very easy manner. This was a unique experience in itself as I find it rare in metropolitan city like Sydney for people making initiation to offer help. Right then, I talked with Amina and she gave me further clear directions. I was on my way. Right then, my brand new bright blue beautiful scarf ( gifted by Radhika and Era ( her choice, I am sure) got stuck on my suitcase. Then, a midle aged bearded man came towards me and said " you seem to be doing too many things". Obviously, I was. I was talking on my phone. My scarf was stuck in suitcase and I was carrying three bags, could it get any worse?. I just said "yes", taking it lightly. Perhaps, he took me as a single woman who had just landed to Australia, who do not know anything about it. Then, he started to go on pointing red Tika on my forehead " you know what, you are not supposed to wear these kinds of thngs in Australia, when you come here, you really should follow tradition of Australia". I found his words very offensive. I have done nothing to provoke him. Then, I took matters to my hand, turned in his directions facing his eye and said that " I am minding my own business, you have no right to say these things to me". Then , he started yelling little bit louder but I told him " stop it, you are discriminating me". I walked ahead of me and I saw railway officers in uniform. With my body language ( by looking ahead at officers and again looking back at him couple of times gave a message that if he turns nasy, I will report him. Then, I could see him walking in real slow pace and in few seconds I could not see him anymore.
I went out and met Amina who had come almost near the station exist to get me. Told her all this in one breath and it was releif to share with her and Radhika afterwards. Amina these days has to attend too many submission parties. There was one at the pub of UTS university. We congratulated the happy man and started chatting with each other. There, I met amazing interesting friend Catherine we were talking non stop about motherhood, choices and relationships. I am glad that I shared with her about my left bag in china town. She told me, " you should actually go, chances are that they might have kept the bag for you". Coming from chinese heritage herself, she had strong conviction on honesty of chinese people. So, Amina and I ran around like a Sherlock homes and Dr. Watson ( Amina is Sherlock by the way) and finally discovered the bag. And I was like, wait till I call Raja home bragging that " This time in Sydney, I had left nothing anywhere, everything is with me". Euphoria lasted probably for an hour when Radhika called me with news " you have left your newly bought sleeping pillow with us". HAHAHAHAA, can life be this tedious? However, its good to know that I am visiting Sydney anyway, not soon may be but in between these 4 years of PhD, to collect that Sleeping pillow just to leave something else again.
In the beginning, Amina was like "where can I take you, do you want to visit this and that". And I said, lets not do touristy things. Lets just take a long walk, share a nice meal and just chat non stop. I warned her that she may not get to sleep that night. She rather looked cute her on her black jacket and long black umbrella. We walked nearly for an hour, talking about our kids, sharing our professional and academic expeirences. We ate and drank in between. Then, we came to our room just for another long long chat. Though, I wanted to go on, but both of us were tired and we dozed off to wake up in no time to catch my early morning train. She came all the way to my train seat and said goodbye. Where I bumped into Anupji and his family who were also returning from their Sydney trip.
Folks, another long post could come just to talk about my 10 hour long journey, but that would be too much for today. I should just say goodbye and start reading and writing and I realize I am too exhausted by now. Your lovely feedback and comments will be highly appreciated.
