Thursday, May 21, 2015

For you on your ninth birthday

My Dear Shubham

Today is your ninth birthday. I am writing this blog exactly at 6 am in a small apartment near Monash University, Melbourne. This is a miracle as I never expected this to happen. I thought on this day, you will be in Nepal with your brother, Buwa and Hajurbuwa Hajurama while I will wish from you here in Melbourne just counting my days until I can hug you again. This miracle happened as we all went through the most horrible experience in our lives.

On 25th of April, as you have told me several times, exactly at the time, you and bhai were carefree children who had never experienced such terror. As usual, you were playing on the top floor of our three storey house. Then, the ground began to shake. From your own eyes you saw the big brick wall falling down. In this moment of terror, you held Soham and tried your best to comfort him. You called Buwa, who was trying equally hard to come towards you but could not. The shock of this moment is deep in your heart.

Ama nearly died right on spot when she could not contact you all for more than 5 hours. I You and Bhai can't both stop talking about earthquake. You both have seen and heard thousands of people dying because of this earthquake. Your Ama would have never imagined in her life that she would dare to look after you all by herself ever in her life. But after this worst tragedy, I feel I can face any difficulty in my life just to have you both  beside me.

Buwa is still back home in Nepal with Hajurbuwa and Hajurama. And in his absence, you seem to have grown up even more. When I feel tired, you look at me with comforting eyes and ask me to "take it easy". You try your best to comfort, contain, entertain your Bhai whose other name is "trouble". You love him so much. But sometimes, you crave for a friend and an understanding which he has not yet developed. Just give him a time. He is a kid who is just beginning to understand grown up's world and ways. His world is still jumbled. Besides, he recently had a biggest change in his life. His first flight itself was more than 20 hours long and he had been fearful about too many things. You and I in Australia are the only source of faith and happiness for him. Lets continue to stay strong and together and help him understand why we are here.

On this day today, I do not have much to tell you my dear Chora. You like philosopher sometimes have begun to tell me what this life is all about. And that is my concern. Though, it helps Ama very much that you behave and think like a adult. It definitely helps specially when Ama needs all the understanding and help she can get to look after your "hyperactive" Bhai. But please do not forget that you are just a child after all. You are just 9 years old. You have enough time later to think and behave like adult. And let me tell you, even a adult like me gets tired of being adult. I myself wish I was a child again. Being a child is about forgiving and forgetting. It is about asking lots of questions. It is about always being curious. It is about always wondering. It is about being happy without reason. On your ninth birthday, which came at very difficult time in our country, I just wish that may you be healed of your pain and trauma. This pain and Trauma made both you and Bhai so severely ill that Ama left everything and came back from Australia just to be with you. Ama wishes to make you trust the nature again and to understand how it works. I also hope dear Chora that you start thinking about other less fortunate people who have been not so lucky on this earthquake. They have lost their near and dear ones, they have lost their home, they have lost everything that they have. Dear Chora, can we do something about this, even though something small. Something little what we can. You were so inspired when I showed you the picture of little boy named Sam who sold Origami for 1 $ to raise funds for earthquake victims. And you thought may be you could do same. On this birthday let me tell you a secret. Dear Shubham, you are different, you are unique like every child born in this world. No child is same, they all are special. You are special one too. So, can you think what different think you can do? Let me know when you decide and I will help you to make it possible. And yes, lets not forget Soham on this team work. Though he punches you and scratches you "out of the blue", he loves you too much. And I hope you know that.