I am missing my son as usual.
It has turned into a hidden wound! but yet so so obvious. his picture is everywhere. I remmeber him everytime. Everyday, I ask my husband to tell me stuffs about my babu. Since he arrives only few months ago, he has more memories of babu than me. we keep on talking, how babu would do that, how he would say that, how he would feel and so on.

sometimes, we create an imaginary picture of babu and discuss different situations as if babu was right here in front of us.

Being far away from son, I can see how much a child means to mother. I can also see how much I meant to him. I at times feel guilty at my decision, in which I had very little choice. The decision was mine, as it sounded the best at the time. Now perhaps, its time to be together with my son whatever it takes. I have experimented two semesters without him and I can see that his absence is more dangerous to my peace of mind...........

I am now more than ready to play the role of 'back to uni' mother...........yeah, I am

Need to write everyday hehehe!!!

well, after reading over lots of nepali women's blog. I thought I need to do something, it means reguarly to join the community..........

After all, what else do I do except writing and reading whole whole day, living in a hole called Monash Research Graduate School. Trying to devise theories, trying to find out loopholes to criticized and bending and stretching scholar's writing to fit my research interest.

I could endlessly babble about research culture in western academia...........hahaha

I need to meet my supervisor in twenty minutes, better brase up myself for whatever it comes..........hehehe!

will write again, but wonder if anything interesting or creative comes up!!!

Nepal and its ethnic politics

I am not anyhow a specialist in this issue. I am more aware about this tag of 'specialist' after being exposed to western academic environment. One cannot simply put forward any opinions or arguments, in the area that you are not specialized it. But still, I just want to write what I am feeling about Nepal's gradual turn in ethnic politics.

This issue has fuelled my mind, when suddenly I heard the news of formation of 'Newa Army'.. Indeed, Nepal is now secular country, but contrary to that, government declared that it will not support any religious festival. It fuelled protests and thus, Newars have declared Newa Army. This shows the government's insensitivity towards culture and tradition.

Though I am vegetarian, I despise Nepali governments announcement to ban 'animal sacrifice'. What it should have done was raise awareness about ills of animal sacrifice. Simply putting ban on animal sacrifice will interfere with various cultural group's age long tradition...........

Well, well, in personal front, nothing new is happening these days. Just waiting desperately to my ethics application be approved and hopefully candidature review will not pose any serious problem. which reminds me of course, to GET BACK TO WORK

Its time to start writing again, I guess...........

so many things to write, but yet so little things to experience.

probably, it is because i am writing all the time, not about my emotions, feelings and expereinces but rather doing assighnments, writing thesis. Being engaged in different genre of writing definitely has an impact on my creative expressions.

well, it seems i am not a poet anymore. They dont come........even if they come, I do not write them instantly as i used to do before.

Uhuh, and this contemplating on life, which was my hobby before, is also not so much in practice why??

Am I turning into this 'logical, pratical' person I had always feared to be...........Well, here I go, thats all for today. Need to write a long chapter on theoritical framework.

I just wonder what shubham is doing at the moment, ah, he must have woke up and be asking for food. It is still 2 months away to see him actually, to be with him and I am so despertely waiting for that day.