As I am typing away on my laptop in this dingy hotel in Bardia, I am reflecting on the past couple of days that I spent here. While typing, I am thinking, why I could not write this earlier. The aim was to write everyday, little bit of my experiences, impressions. But here I am, trying to cram up 6 incredible days into one post. Let's see how it turns out to be.
Travelling is about adventure, being flexible and creative to adapt according to situation. But within that sense of adventure and creativity, one needs a sense of "comfort" too. We have our own queer habits, tastes and ways of doing things. During travelling I feel that challenge is all about how we haven an adventure, along with having some sort of "comfort' with continuity of our habits and tastes.
In my case, I have a "hot water" saga every time I travel. Over the years, I have maintained habit to drink couple of glasses of warm water every morning soon after I wake up. So, far Bardia has allowed me that comfort. Along with that, a very strong black tea with a slice of lemon every morning. I thought, the tea was complimentary to its guest. But to my surprise, I found out when I cleared my bill this evening that it costs 10 Rs. 10 Rs, seriously?
And let me tell you a little bit about our owner of guest house. He speaks as if his words are too expensive. You know the way some people carry out their importance in their "shoulders" all the time. I know I am being bitchy over here. But our research team wondered how he manages the hotel without smile and without a bit of courtesy that is needed to deal with the guest. His attitude is always like " who cares". Well, well..............
Every day, we have been visiting schools and trying to understand about issues surrounding Girl's Education. Interesting perspectives are emerging about issues relating to practices or early marriages and increasing trend of elopement.
Our day started around 9 every morning, with a sumptuous daal bhat in hotel Arghakhanchi, near by the guest house we were living. One lunch was enough for us to decide " we won't be eating here". While travelling, there is a curious desire in me that seeks to experience the place through the tongue. I have a feeling, each place has its own distinct tastes. Even the same दाल भात tastes different in different places. In hotel Arghakhanchi, we were also more drawn to साहुनी's smile and her way of asking after us. The meal was simple, without much ado, you know घरकाे जस्तै । That's why, we were drawn towards it. A young handsome boy of around 15 , originally from Dolpa would serve us meal with smile on his face. I felt food was too salty. But it had been a while I had taken second helping of लाैकाकाे तरकारी, फर्सीकाे तरकारी and also knew that even मुलाकाे साग can be served in hotel. In evening after dinner, our research team had reflection about the whole day on emerging patterns and trends. I felt the power of team work and combination of different perspectives. Today, on the last day, I felt all of us were loosened up a lot. We could be ourselves around each other. Tell each other a joke and are able to detect a "punch line". Joke is much an act of intimacy. I have never been able to laugh at a joke told by stranger. Neither do one stranger tell jokes to others. You tell a joke to somebody, when you feel that the other will listen, understand and will be able to laugh just when one feels the timing and the beat of the laughter. And this laughter when it comes together in unison, together in different tempos and volumes and style makes people into "one". This moment is the one when you feel the growth of friendship and intimacy that you will feel is worth taking further. And researcher's jokes are funnier than ever. Their jokes are not scripted and customized हम जाएगा Jokes. Researchers create jokes on their everyday observations, conversations that they had in the field. These jokes are filled with insights and understanding that helps us further to hone our analysis.
Our each morning, started with a journey with Akbar Dai. He drove us around Bardia. Each time we get into the zeep, melodious hindi classic songs greets us. It was in this zeep, I remembered many romantic songs that I craved for in my lovelorn days ए मेरा प्रेमपत्र पढकर, मुझे नींद नअाए , काेयल बाेली दुनिया डाेली । I feel songs are markers of our emotional state and it also carries deep emotions and flashes of remembrance. I have always wondered, why people enjoy listening to old songs more than the new ones. It is probably because the old songs carry our memories within them. With songs, I often get visions and memories of the last time that I was listening to this songs and certain feelings that awoke within me. It was these songs that helped us to pass the bumpy roads around Bardia. Along with that, we had fascinating conversations among ourselves of course.
On the second last day of our visit, we set off to Rupaidiya Bazar from Bhaisahi, Bardia. Both of my co-researchers had already visited Bazar before. But they decided to go there again and I am thankful to them for sensing my need for "experiencing the place through shopping". Indeed, you never know the place and its people until you shop. Shopping opens up new vistas of human communication. It is not just a transaction of cash and goods. It is barter of words in between which you get a better glimpse of human culture and emotions.
Rupaidia Bazar is such a place where first you may enter saying " I won't buy anything". By the time you return, you have emptied your pockets. Women will understand it better of course. Shopping is like a treasure hunt for women. We are in search for something unique and pecualiar. We wish to get something that reminds of this place. We are in search of that "special deal", a "a great sale" a "bargain". We are equally in search of "elusive", "authenticity" "unique" and "ethnic" .
Nepali people like us who are in search of "cross border" shopping experience are main customers of Rupaidiha market. Once you enter the place, you will see Indians waving the Indian Rupees and asking whether you need the change. But the security checking by female Indian Personnel was humiliating. It is one thing to do security checking, we understand it of course that it is their job. But to interrogate in a most humiliating way was disturbing. I hate this whole concept of "borders", the dividing line, the concept of nation and state. It was the same air on the both side, but once we entered the gate, we felt different. What is it that makes us different, an outsider. How is this feeling of being an "outsider" is constructed, I wonder often.
Indian shopkeeper can easily tell customers from Nepali to Indian. Our way of speaking offhanded Hindi ( learnt from countless doses of bollywood romantic movies) does not give us the native accent. They smirk, they smile at our feeble attempt to show off our attempt to pass off as native. Shopkeepers are well practiced. In front of us लाल becomes राताे, अच्छा becomes राम्राे, महंगा becomes महंगाे. They give us two prices ( in IC and NC) as soon as we ask इसका कितना हे? I ended up buying two saree, a blouse piece in one cloth shop, in which we entered just to wander around. I founded to hoodie jackets for Shubham Soham. I bought it in a whim, in desperation of a mother who is anxious to find anything to take back home for her kids. I wonder whether these two hoodies ( in tacky colors and curious prints) will show their true colors in one wash. हे भगवान् I hope I will have some dignity that they will last well until the end of this season. I hope they do not turn out into one of my "shopping spreee" nightmares. I have oodles of stories of shopping gone wrong specially in things I buy when I see the big sign of " SALE", yes in capital letters. The sign is enough for me to go in and start buying things I do not even need.
Fortunately, Rupaidiya allowed me to buy small treasures for my nears and dears. I have a gift for everyone in my family and my two best friends. Thanks to Rupaidiya Experience my research Team.
Oh, its nearly 11.30 at night. Need to catch up some sleep. We have a early flight from Nepalgunj to Kathmandu. I guess, I should end this blog here now. I did not start this post with a plan. So my experience is not uniformed and organized. And I like it that way. Let the people who read this make sense of it.
