I am a daughter of mother, who always felt incompetent about her sel roti skills. She tried her best, year after year, with different recipes, different combination of flour, sugar and Ghee. But I liked it just the way she cooked it. It was hard to understand what the fuss was about. She lamented: it was not round enough. Sometimes, it was not soft enough. Sometimes it was not brown enough. Sometimes it was not joined properly.
There came a point, she gave up. She started finding skilled sel roti makers on neighbourhood. Befriending them ahead of season, kajoling them with the gifts ( without exposing the hidden motive of course) of fresh vegetables from our garden, which is rarity in Kathmandu. Months before, she will prep up the mood, perhaps to discuss the time to cook Sel roti. For you see, This woman has a family of her own and has her own sel roti to cook for Laxmi Puja. I remember since early on, the mixture came in our family, I was the one asked to grind the flour. So, I gained some skills about the texture of the flour. I knew a bit about the combination of sugar and flour. But the actual act of making roti, with the bare hand, which could be scalded any minute: always defied me. It seemed to me everyone thought it was the ultimate epitome of the feminine skill that women in Nepal could possess: ability to make perfectly rounded, perfectly sized, perfectly soft, perfectly sweet Sel Roti.
Since moving Abroad last two years, it was still a least of my worry. With one of the Nepali didi embodying these skills around, we could still taste roti and remember home and celebrate tihar. Specially when you are abroad, Sel roti becomes one of the chief medium that you experience Tihar with your taste and sense. Otherwise, Tihar seems non existent. None are the flowing marigold and supari fool in the market. You do not see glowing lights everywhere in the neighbourhood. You do not see Tihar ko Masala being sold in the market with special package you too. With all these sensory delights missing, Sel roti seems to be the ultimate experience.
So, this year, I decided to take chance. Actually, having a husband who on and off has boasted his Sel roti skills, I had a back up sel roti maker. So, the day before laxmi puja, I prepared the batter. Shubham was away in Camp, that meant Soham turning all sweet and nice with me, helping me out and none of the crazy logics which he pulls through while Shubham is around, exerting their sibling power over me. So, we were one to one. I could work in peace preparing the batter, which I put away in fridge to be cooked on Friday evening.
I am not a highly religious person, often some of the religious rituals , I find tiring and taking too much effort. Now, gradually, I am learning it is a way we pass on our legacy to our children. It brings the family together. It adds to our experience and memories that we have of ourselves. So, perhaps now, I can join the gang of sel roti makers. It will take a while for me to be expert, may be years. But gone are the days , Sel Roti was Achilles hill. Yes, I can cook it, entirely on my own, of course with my loved ones by my side. And yes, life goal, is to teach my sons as well, who knows they may get married with a women who may not know how to cook sel roti: I will do this with all selfish desire for future my daughter-in-laws to thank me
I am a daughter of mother, who always felt incompetent about her sel roti skills. She tried her best, year after year, with different recipes, different combination of flour, sugar and Ghee. But I liked it just the way she cooked it. It was hard to understand what the fuss was about. She lamented: it was not round enough. Sometimes, it was not soft enough. Sometimes it was not brown enough. Sometimes it was not joined properly.
There came a point, she gave up. She started finding skilled sel roti makers on neighbourhood. Befriending them ahead of season, kajoling them with the gifts ( without exposing the hidden motive of course) of fresh vegetables from our garden, which is rarity in Kathmandu. Months before, she will prep up the mood, perhaps to discuss the time to cook Sel roti. For you see, This woman has a family of her own and has her own sel roti to cook for Laxmi Puja. I remember since early on, the mixture came in our family, I was the one asked to grind the flour. So, I gained some skills about the texture of the flour. I knew a bit about the combination of sugar and flour. But the actual act of making roti, with the bare hand, which could be scalded any minute: always defied me. It seemed to me everyone thought it was the ultimate epitome of the feminine skill that women in Nepal could possess: ability to make perfectly rounded, perfectly sized, perfectly soft, perfectly sweet Sel Roti.
Since moving Abroad last two years, it was still a least of my worry. With one of the Nepali didi embodying these skills around, we could still taste roti and remember home and celebrate tihar. Specially when you are abroad, Sel roti becomes one of the chief medium that you experience Tihar with your taste and sense. Otherwise, Tihar seems non existent. None are the flowing marigold and supari fool in the market. You do not see glowing lights everywhere in the neighbourhood. You do not see Tihar ko Masala being sold in the market with special package you too. With all these sensory delights missing, Sel roti seems to be the ultimate experience.
So, this year, I decided to take chance. Actually, having a husband who on and off has boasted his Sel roti skills, I had a back up sel roti maker. So, the day before laxmi puja, I prepared the batter. Shubham was away in Camp, that meant Soham turning all sweet and nice with me, helping me out and none of the crazy logics which he pulls through while Shubham is around, exerting their sibling power over me. So, we were one to one. I could work in peace preparing the batter, which I put away in fridge to be cooked on Friday evening.
After feeding Soham dinner ( which requires a lot of patience as he has developed a masterchef style food critique habits, who dissects my cooking into finest piece of commentary). Even the best food I cook meets with feedback like " It tastes great but................................" there it comes. So, after finishing that ordeal, a sudden inspiration hit me. I was armed with tips and suggestions from one of the top Op-Ed columnist in Nepal ( I will name her, with her permission later), I said, lets give it a try. So, I prepared mixture of batter in a very small bowl. I had a chop stick somewhere to be used as "Jhir" to take the roti out. The batter looked perfect, tasted perfect, what could possibly get wrong. So, with a soft take away bowl, I mustered the courage to pour very first roti. I needed someone there, beside me. I missed my mother. She would have guided me with her sympathetic voice. I missed my husband, who would have stood by me on this very testing feat. I missed Shubham, who would have said, " Relax, you can do this". But I had Soham. Then, I called him over. I said, "Soham, I need you beside me. Can you please pray". Then, interestingly he read a mantra " Bakratunda Mahakaya, Surya koti Samaprabha ". Interestingly, Mantra's meaning was so similar to what we were doing. The mantra called Lord Ganesha to remove all obstacles on the way. I wonder, how Soham figured that out. Then, by miracle the roti was round and it cooked. It looked bit too flat, a little bit white. But it was a big feat for me. So, I made some more, and after making around 10 of them, I called a Nepali family to come home and taste. What is Sel roti, if not shared with other fellow Nepali.
I am not a highly religious person, often some of the religious rituals , I find tiring and taking too much effort. Now, gradually, I am learning it is a way we pass on our legacy to our children. It brings the family together. It adds to our experience and memories that we have of ourselves. So, perhaps now, I can join the gang of sel roti makers. It will take a while for me to be expert, may be years. But gone are the days , Sel Roti was Achilles hill. Yes, I can cook it, entirely on my own, of course with my loved ones by my side. And yes, life goal, is to teach my sons as well, who knows they may get married with a women who may not know how to cook sel roti: I will do this with all selfish desire for future my daughter-in-laws to thank me
