In defense of Teej

NOTE: The article appeared on the TEEJ ( 2013) in Kathmandu Post

In Defense of Teej

Sparkling bangles and bindis, women singing and dancing in odd places and times of the day in neighborhood, images of women in red sari taking over facebook timeline: festive season of Teej is here once more. Ask anyone about Teej, they are sure to have very passionate opinions about it: men or women, follower or non follower. Some are vehemently against it, some are ardently supporting it.  And in between that, some women like me do not know anymore whether to love or hate Teej. Coming into age in mid 1990s at the height of feminist movement, I still remember the passionate arguments of feminists against Teej.  Celebrating Teej was hailed as a symbol of patriarchy and conformation of the male domination by women. Indeed many of modern Nepali women do not agree with many of the ideologies and rituals of Teej. Over the time, one can see that Nepali women have embraced Teej with new meanings.  Thus, I find it necessary to examine some of the concerns and accusations directed towards women celebrating Teej. While I go on writing, I am aware that I will sound like a fanatic narcissist middle class women bent on defending her own brood.

Some sections of Nepali society are increasingly voicing their concerns about growing "bikriti" on the ways in which Teej is being celebrated these days.  The most frequent accusations hurled at women is about having Durr one month prior Teej. It is interesting to observe that it is mostly men who express these concerns.  Indeed every year, weeks before Teej, housewives do gather  to dance and eat in booming neighborhood party palaces.  Even offices with women staffs outnumbered by men organize Teej party over the lunch hours in office. High profile Teej parties are organized in five star hotels by upper class women. However, this year celebrations of Teej seems to have slowed down. Could it be effect of notice issued by Commission for the Abuse of Authority (CIAA)  warning women not to have parties, exceeding 50 people? It seems as if CIAA has nothing better to do than keep a watch on group of women dancing and singing to their heart's content. If they were really that serious about controlling the expenses in social events, they can start with their own staff's wedding, Brataman and Pasni parties.

I argue that current "durr" khane practice in urban areas like Kathmandu needs to be seen in the light of change in women's statuses and identities. Previously, women were limited in their home with identities of daughter, wife and daughter in-law. These days, women inhabit different public spaces with diverse identities. Their circle of people has gone beyond the boundaries of "maiti" and "ghar". They have school friends, college friends, work friends, activist friends.  And Teej parties, sometimes at home, sometimes at office, sometimes at party places, sometimes at restaurant becomes a place to meet, talk, eat, dance and get reconnected. Tell me, is there anything wrong with that? Aren't men always meeting with their friends to dance and eat in dohori restaurants, disco bars and resorts floundering their money?  Have we heard any organized criticism ever about this?

I wish to draw attention on the ways in which these durr parties have become platform for philanthropy.  Is it wrong for women with higher income to spend large amount of money for Durr parties in five star hotel not just to have fun by themselves but also to collect funds to support their less fortunate sisters? Since last couple of years, few groups of women have been organizing durr parties to collect fund to support women suffering from breast cancern and uterine prolapsed and so on. Similarly, many women organizations organize durr programmes in old age homes, orphanages and women's cells in prison. We should laud these efforts instead of criticism of same old lamentations " look at women singing and dancing one month before Teej".

There is yet another important but less discussed aspect of Teej. With growing international migration of Nepali people all over the world, Teej has surpassed national boundary. Disregarding ethnic and caste differences, every year NRN women organize different events weeks prior to Teej. For them, Teej does not simply mean feasting, fasting and dancing. Teej becomes a medium for them to remember home, to conform that they have not forgotten Nepal but rather it is very closer to their hearts. With Teej, they teach Nepali culture to their children. This form of Transnational Teej also becomes the medium for Nepali community to establish their identities amongst different cultural groups in their host countries. 

It is equally interesting to see that despite the patriarchal connotations , Teej has increasingly become the platform for activism to raise awareness on women's rights. Since last couple of years, I have been attending Teej programme organized by disabled women in Nepal. Women with disabilities wear beautiful saris, kurtas and dance incredibly in music. I see this programme as a challenge to stereotypical beliefs of "beauty", "perfect body" and "femininity". Every year, deaf women also organize Teej programme of their own. They usually start with the quiz competition followed by apple eating competition. I was fortunate to witness the party last year. One could see deaf women chatting away merrily in sign language looking beautiful and radiant in their bright red saris and Kurta Tops. Then, in the end they started dancing. Though their world was of silence, they kept on dancing to their inner sense of music. In a society, where women's body is scrutinized, controlled, violated and stigmatized, dancing in Teej allows us to be free: releasing our body from all its inhibitions and control. Dancing in Teej is about reclaiming our bodies from the tight scrutiny of the society.

So, on behalf of all women celebrating Teej, here is a request to all those self appointed gatekeepers of Nepali society. Stop butting in with your narcistic comments and advises about right way to celebrate Teej.  Women deserve to enjoy the Teej the way want because there is no single way to celebrate Teej. For each individual woman, Teej comes with different meanings and symbol every year.

Khanal is lecturer of Sociology, Tribhuvan University