Colombo diaries: Day I

 Colombo diaries

Day I: 13^th July 2013

I believe travelling makes one a better person. When you travel, you learn new things, be adaptable and more understanding about the differences. It helps you to loosen up, let go your inhibitions, fear and prejudices. It makes you rediscover an unexplored dimension of your personality. It helps you to see that there are so many wonderful people out there to meet, to talk to  and hear their stories.

I always look forward to travel. This time, opportunity of a conference brought me to Srilanka. Me and group of 3 friends from Nepal were attending International Conference in women's studies in Colombo from July 15-16 2013. So, we set off early morning from Nepal on 13^th July Saturday 2013. We took early morning flight of Jet airways to Delhi. Nearby my seat was an elderly woman in her 80s travelling all by herself. I asked her "are you alone". Then she answered, 'aren't you my daughter, I am not alone". That touched my heart.

I moved on towards her seat. She was travelling to London to live there for remaining days of her life. Her son had received green card. She was happy about meeting them and living with them, but she was anxious about whether she will be able to understand and pass through the complicated procedures of airport. I tried to explain her necessary things looking at her ticket.  She had a false teeth and it was hurting her too much. After we became familiar with each other, she became comfortable to take out her false teeth and she began her life story.

She was born in Benaras, India and came back to Nepal and married Nepal man. "He was good man, so handsome", she said. It had been nearly 18 years since he died. At one point, she went to toilet and on the way back, she realized that she tied very strong knot in her trousers. I helped to untie that and she had tears in my eyes and kept on doing Namaste to me countless time, I felt uncomfortable.  Then, I began to ponder on why do we help people? I have this strong desire to help people. Everybody likes to be thanked and appreciated for what they did. I am no different. I help because, I feel it makes a difference in someone's life. I also help because I believe in a theory of "circle of help". I think when you help people, you create a intricate "circle of help". It is not necessary that you will be reciprocated for help from the same person whom you helped, but someday somewhere when you are in trouble, when you need someone, I strongly believe, there will be another person out there who will help you.  A desire to help is actually also guided by selfishness, but it can be regarded as "refined selfishness".  I continue to help people because, you get a feeling of peace and calm after helping somebody. I help for this "lightness of heart" that I feel after I help somebody. So, in that sense, one can say helpful people are selfish, because whether we admit or not, we help people to get this "feeling", to be appreciated, but we are not doing any harm but rather making a difference, is that a bad thing?  

We had a long transit, nearly 7 hours and we had lot s of time to kill. I had already assured lady that I will accompany her to her gate where she would be taking her plane to London. I was also confident that she would be able to make it on her own. She knew hindi very well and had a great ability to communicate people. All attendants in plane were very nice  to her. We were on the last seat so, it took a while for us to get out of the plane, by the time we came out of plane, the bus travelling to transit lounge was already gone, so my friends were gone. I could not communicate in time that I was with her. It took a while for wheelchair to arrive. We  walked slowly in her speed towards the transit lounge. Then, came the wheelchair man and whisked her away to her gate before I could say bye to her. I kept on thinking about her and even thought about going to the gate she was travelling but, I was with friends and it was complicated to find each other again in a large airport.

So, 7 hours to kill, what to do. I had got a book to read, few works to do, but somehow I neither opened the book nor a laptop. And yes, in the beginning there was a frantic attempt to connect internet in Indira Gandhi International Airport . But not successful. Wickedly, Delhi airport had deliberately chosen to make international travelers dupe with the offer of " 45 minutes of free internet" but that required to have a Indian phone. Who would buy a phone just of the internet, not me. Yes, one could use one's credit card but………..So, we tried some more but let it go.

We were impressed with the development of Indira Gandhi International Airport. Last time when I had traveled via Delhi airport almost 10 years before, I had few bad memories of cranky airport personnel. In Nepal itself, we had a confrontation with an airport personnel who excluded air of " Mr. Know All, I am the best, you know nothing". My friend, who was harassed tried to put him in place.

So, in Delhi, contrary to fear, nothing unpleasant happened. Few of us in the team had negative experiences in Delhi airport, particularly to do with the identity of being Nepali, the "green passport" syndrome. You know the way, we Nepalese with the green passport are made to feel in each airport: different lines, more probing, groping and smirk of superiority directed at us. None of this happened this time. And I had few crushes ( this is natural right) at attendants and handsome men at airport counters. I love my partner but it doesn't mean, I cannot appreciate if I find someone handsome right.

Then, conforming to the growth of fast food joints, we ordered domninos pizzas inspired by advertisements seen in Indian Television. There was a lot of discussion and confusion on few issues among us but fortunately it was settled with everyone's goodwill and humor.

Then, we went here and there. Pretended to have loads of money and asked prices of beautiful dresses and priceless gems. I realized, it is not necessary to own anything for pleasure. One can have a look and just imagine…………..and see where it takes you. This habit so far is helping me to overcome my shopaholic habit. But still not cured yet, but who cares, I will buy what I want as long as I have enough money for it.

So, so, if you are still interested in this endless banter,  I will continue to go on. Those who were not interested, they are probably out of this blog anyway. So, we moved around some more and sitting in the lounge, we had interesting discussion on activism vs. academia. Three of us women participants were all lecturers with strong interest in gender issues. We all are doing research, trying to bring into serious gender issues into discussion. Each of us had in some ways, felt the "skeptic doubt" of activist about the futility of research and question on our lack of supposed "activism". We concluded that in this instance," activism" was being defined narrowly.  There is no singular way of doing activism. Activism is not always about "demonstrating on the street with slogans and placards". There are different ways of doing activism. And for academics like us who are interested in gender issues, research itself is an important method of activism: bringing hidden and silent issues into academic discourses, orienting new generation men and women for gender equality, continuously writing and speaking with evidence, analysis, linking the social problems with structural causes along with immediate underlying causes. It was truly a refreshing discussion. People around us in the lounge had bemused expression in their faces perhaps meaning "crazy loud women", but it didn't matter, we went on and on until the hunger striked us again.

This time, opting for new taste, we went to "curry kitchen". After experiencing burning sensation of chilli in the pit of our stomach, we decided to cool ourselves with cheapest but yummiest ( isn't it all about perspective?) ice-cream in Delhi Airport.. Then after sauntering  here and there, it was time for us to catch a srilankan airlines flight. The air hostesses dresses were beautiful with peacock prints. If I had a daughter, I would have bought something similar for her. Once one airhostes knew I was from Nepal, she said " I need to talk to you". She came later and started talking with me. She said she is getting married next year and planning to come to Nepal for honeymoon. I shared what I knew and well, did a good job of promoting tourism in Nepal J

The flight was great. Airhostesses were friendly and helpful, funny bantering among themselves were interesting to observe. Srilankan airlines did have good movie, tried to flick over couple of movies but was too tired to watch. Introduction to Srilankan food in the plane itself helped us be prepared to adjust our level of tolerance to chillies.

After arrival, clearing through customs was easy, no hassle, smooth service. I wanted to buy a simcard and found bit expensive in airport. So, we stopped in the arrival section to look for the driver who will be holding our name in paper. We searched everywhere but driver was no where to be seen. What happened? Airport pick up was already arranged. Now, now, don't worry, hold your breath. We found him. Do you know what happened, our named were transformed into srilankan names: srilankization of Nepali names were funny

Neeti became Aneeti

And Samidha became Samodha

And Mr. Pradip Kumar, was not pradip anymore, He was P.Kumar

So, finally we figured out, got into the van and moved towards hotel. Arrived hotel nearly around 11 pm at night. We were greeted with fresh juice and we filled our registration. Then, we started to talk with hotel personnel about our plan for tour tomorrow. There were multiple options, multiple expenses. I had a bit of "hot water" fiasco that happens to me everytime wherever I stay in any hotel. I am not elaborating here, ask me if you want, will tell more.

So, off we drifted to sleep, exhausted but excited about new possibilities, new experiences.